iWrite

Napowrimo #3: Are you Scared Yet?

2010-04-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

I'm not titling these poems yet so I'm just using whatever heading is given for the day's prompts so the gist of today's prompt was to right about what scares us and this is what I came up with so.....ENJOY!

I’m not your average woman

I stand taller than most

And I boast a confidence that could put others to shame

The harshest prick brings me no pain

Yet the thought of losing him scares me

Because if he leaves he takes love with him

And I need it to survive

I wouldn’t want to know life without it

If taken away it would surely send me into a fit

And I wouldn’t be fit to exist and that scares me

The power of love is amazing

And I feel its strength every time I catch myself gazing

At the rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps

As I stare at him trying to figure out what he thinks

This is one fear that doesn’t need conquering

I want to know what love is

Like that one song sings

I don’t want to know the pain

That heartbreaks brings

This is my fear

And I’ll carry it today, tomorrow, into next year

Random Writing

2009-09-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in FOREVER!!! I was sitting here thinking and this piece just came together and I like the end result so I hope you do to....ENJOY!

Where’s that wall of protection when you need it?

Temptations knocking

And I don’t want to feed it

Any ammunition to thrive on

Trying to keep my eye on what’s familiar

And not give thought to this peculiar feeling in me

And by peculiar I mean curiosity

It’s scaring me

That I even think of a you and me

When there’s a he and I

And I love him….right?

Of course I do

That’s not even a question

But you are testing me

Testing my fidelity

And something’s telling me to try

And that voice is loudest when I settle on your eyes

And move to your lips

And wonder what a kiss would feel like

What it would taste like

And then I think twice

And snap back into real life

But I store you in the recesses of my mind

To turn to in those times

When a fantasy will due

Because they’ll never be a me and you

Napowrimo: Poem #19

2009-04-29T11:10:00.001-07:00

Back at playing catch up again. This prompt was about Friendship....ENJOY!

They say men and women can’t be friends

But I thought we broke the mold

Time spent together

Created memories that I would forever hold

I was tethered to you

And our similarities were our glue

But then we dissolved like we never were

And I was caught up in a whirlwind

Of emotions

Unanswered questions

Did I mention

You were my best friend

My right hand man

My partner in crime

The one who made time fly

And now you’ve flown away

Despite attempts at repair

I’d rather keep you at bay

I can’t let you in again

To leave me

Broken

Torn

Tattered again

I have to remind myself

You were just a friend

Napowrimo: Poem #17

2009-04-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

For this poem I had a few ideas. I was gonna talk about missing a lover/boyfriend but then I was like, "I've done that", then I was gonna talk about missing a love one like my father but then I said, "I'm not in the mood for crying" then I had a like bulb moment and I was like AH HA and it came to me. Now this was a tearjerker for me as well because I REALLY do miss it but I like the end result so...ENJOY!

135^th and Crocker

That’s the corner that tells the story of my childhood

If it was a movie you would see scenes

Of my sisters and I running up and down the streets of the neighborhood

A peach house with a burgundy roof

In between these walls was living proof

That real families still existed

This home is what I miss

The day we moved

I walked around to each room

To recall what was once there

The memories

Sent chills through me

Because the walls were now bare

And then the tears fell

And hit the floor

I wanted to mark this territory

Because no one could love it more

This was my home

And one day I’ll reclaim it

I’ll drive by

Look for a for sale sign

And it’ll be mine once again

I’ll be home again

And the walls will say

Welcome back old friend

Nawripomo: Poem #16

2009-04-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I'm back and today's prompt was taking a word and running with it so I was trying to make a nice, legible map on my computer to show how I got the words I chose to used but that didn't work out so I hope this little diagram works:

MOLD -(rhymes with)-> hold, scold, household, stroll, old
MOLD -(synonyms)-> build, shape, form
MOLD -(antonym)-> DISMANTLE -(antonym)-> combine
DISMANTLE -(synonym)->RECONSTRUCT -(rhymes with)->pluck

I can’t tell you the number of times

I’ve heard a woman say she wants a man to mold

And I can’t help but scoff and say I want a man to hold

I’m not looking to raise a child

Someone’s whose mistakes I’d have to scold

I don’t need that

I want someone to build a household with

And stroll to our destination of forever

As we grow old together

Not a child that I have to tether myself to

I don’t look at men as projects

Objects to shape into form

Dismantle and reconstruct

Poke, prod, and pluck away

Undesirable traits

I’m looking for someone to combine my spirit with

Form a union heaven sent

To revel in

Me and my self made man

Napowrimo: Poem #15

2009-04-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

Still playing catch-up, Poem #15: Instead Of...

I live to write

Or should I say I write to live

It’s vital to my existence like breathing

So I feel like someone’s teasing me

When I have a pen in hand

And paper in front of me

And I can’t write

But this is no one’s writer’s block

I’m just locked in this classroom

With this lecture

From this professor

That I don’t want to hear

And I fear that I’m going to lose it

Not my mind

But these rhymes

That flow from the tips of my fingers

And I could wait but I don’t know

How long their gonna linger

And I don’t wanna lose them

So I’d rather be writing instead

Make room for more

By taking these words out my head

But this teacher keeps going on and on

And all I wanna do is write this poem

But his long winded words won’t let me

He’s driving me crazy

And this is my therapy

I know I should be listening

But instead I’d rather be writing

Napowrimo: Poem #14

2009-04-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Catching up some more. This prompt was called Road Trip...Enjoy!

My car knows my secrets

It’s like my diary

It’s seen every side of me

It’s my partner in crime

It’s driven me up and down the coast

And it’s allowed me to just cry

It was my shoulder

It is the holder of memories

Of love scenes

And tears that streamed

And blood curdling screams

Of frustration

Sometimes after I’ve parked

I get out with hesitation

Now I have to face the world

Leaving behind my security blanket

But I can face it

I can take it

All the while I’m waiting

To resume my seat

Rejoin my partner

And gamble on what destination we’ll meet

Napowrimo: Poem #13

2009-04-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

So for today's prompt we were given this Wordle:

I couldn't get all the words in there, and I didn't just wanna start forcing them in if they didn't fit because I really like where this poem was going and I didn't wanna ruin it so I included what I could and I really liked the outcome. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:

I take him back to a familiar hotel

To a room that always has the same smell
Where we play a game of show and tell
He tells me what he wants
I show him my body
And he climbs on top of me
And I can do nothing but stare at the ceiling
With the green chipped paint
But I divert my eyes when I find myself getting nauseous
Feeling like I want to faint
And I’m almost pushed over the edge
When his briny sweat I can taste in my mouth
And then he cums
And I’m done
And the jubilant look on his face
I wish he could share with me
Because maybe then I wouldn’t feel so dirty
Wanting so desperate to become clean
I contemplate jumping into the pool
From the balcony
But I don’t
I just follow my regular routine
Jump out of bed
Run a towel between my legs
And call that clean
Evidence of my acute shame has been wiped off of me
My value is folded up in the crumpled 20s he tossed at me
So I walk out the door and back down to the streets
On my way home
Cuz baby gotta eat

Napowrimo: Poem #12

2009-04-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

OK...so...I've missed a couple of prompts but it's been a busy weekend for me. But tonight I was able to check in at Read Write Poem and I loved today's prompt of Where Do You Come From? I kinda sort in a way followed the prompt but I took it elsewhere of course so...ENJOY!

Where do I come from?

I could tell the same tales

Of trips to hell and back

And the tattered sidewalks with cracks

And the crack heads

These streets never seem to lack

But for once

I don’t feel like talking about that

Instead I’ll tell you about my mother and father

Who bore and raised 2 sons and 5 daughters

Who bought a house and built a home

For us to dwell in

And in these walls the stories were written

That I’m telling

They’re the ones that taught me

That failing was not an option

And I’m opting to uplift them

Because they’re the roots to the tree that is me

They’re my walls, roof, and ceiling

They’re the source of my pain and my healing

I feel like trying something new

I feel like taking you all on a walk down positivity

Where the walls aren’t littered with graffiti

And sirens don’t sound through the city

I’d rather speak of my skin the color of ebony

That speaks of strength of beauty

This is where I come from

Napowrimo: Poem #9

2009-04-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

So I'm playing catch up on all the prompts I've missed throughout the month so this is Prompt #9: Paradise...ENJOY!

You are my sandy beach

My mountain top retreat

My relief from the stress of the days

You are the way I wind down

You are my glass of wine

And fruit platter

You are my distraction

Where nothing else seems to matter

You are my full body massage

Where my guard comes down

And I drop the façade

You are my paradise

No need to hop on any flights

Because you’re right here

And in these moment’s there’s nothing I fear

No obstacles to steer clear of

My paradise is in your touch

You are my clear blue waters

My paradise is within these borders

I don’t have to travel far in order

To find my peace

I don’t need the cool shade

Provided by palm trees

You are my serenity

Paradise?

You are the epitome

Napowrimo: Poem #8

2009-04-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

YAY! Another fun prompt. I always joke around with my boyfriend about how I can remember ever crush I've ever had and FINALLY I get to put it to use (lol). I tweaked the original prompt a little for today's poem but but I didn't stray to far. So....ENJOY!

I guess you can say I’ve always been a little boy crazy

Because it all started

In pre-kindergarten

When this little boy TOLD me

He was my boyfriend

And under the lunch table

He held my hand

Then in 2^nd grade a another little boy

Chased me under a table

Asked me for a kiss

But he was hurriedly dismissed

With a disgusted look

And a, “WHAT DO U THINK THIS IS?”

Then he caught me behind the handball wall

Reiterated that a kiss on the cheek is all

And I ran from him

And avoided eye contact in the halls

And then in the 3^rd grade

I met Mr. Green eyes

And I was mesmerized…

About as mesmerized as a 3^rd grader can be

I remember thinking of asking

If my Valentine, he would be

Then 4^th grade came along

I met a boy with the same last name as me

Then I thought, ”How perfect can this be

My name won’t change when we’re married”

This HAD TO be serious

Because it followed me to 5^th grade

Then I found out her had a girlfriend

And the crush went away

But the very next year

Another took its place

And another

And another became a lover

And I grew up

And got older

And flames began to smolder

Romance’s simplicities

I left in elementary

Napowrimo: Poem #7

2009-04-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

This was another good prompt for me because I knew what I wanted to write about right away. I have a lot of nicknames and to be honest, I don't like most of them. This is probably because I like my real name so much so I implore everyone to use it (lol) but I do have 2 nicknames that I adore because they came from my parents. My mom calls me "Nuri" and my Daddy used to call me "Pumpkin" and that's the name I chose to use for this prompt.

A lil' backstory, my dad passed away in October 2004 after battling Parkinson's Disease for years and I miss him terribly and think about him everyday so any chance I have to incorporate him into something I do I jump on it, so....ENJOY!

Pumpkin

When I hear it

A lump still forms in my throat

And I get a little choked up

When I think of my Daddy’s name for me

His youngest

His baby

I long to hear it daily

In that familiar baritone

Sometimes I convince myself I can hear it

When I’m alone in silence

And that’s when I find it the hardest

To fight back tears

And I have to deal with his absence

But then I hear it again

And something else happens

Pumpkin evokes memories

Of standing on his toes and dancing

Running down the streets and laughing

Watching me walk down the street

Making sure that I was safe

And seeing that nothing happened

This make me happy

And these thoughts reaffirm

That in this world and the next

I’ll always be Daddy’s little girl

Napowrimo: Poem #6

2009-04-06T14:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I missed Day #5 but not on purpose, I just couldn't get a list of 50 words from anyone but it WILL get done. But moving on, I love Day #6 prompt. I didn't really like the picture provided so I looked through the rest of Pensiero's pics and when I saw this one it just jumped out at me and I HAD to write about it so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I need to figure out how to make the image a link to it's original source but until then I'll just give this information because I definitely wanna give the credit for this gorgeous picture where it is due.

I'm an actress

And the bedroom is my stage

I don’t work for financial gain

My satisfaction is my wage

And I love it
The hugs

The kisses

The touches

I live for this

By no means do I have multiple personalities

But I often find myself playing these roles

From a bed room vixen

To the likes of a CEO

And what turns me on the most

Is you would never know

I could be the woman in the office

With the knee length skirts

And the high buttoned shirts

With posture upright

Attitude, uptight

But as soon as that clock strikes 5

I step into a whole new state of mind

And I check out mentally

Step out of my 3-piece suit

Into a cloak of sensuality

And that’s the real me

Rushing home to revel in my sexual proclivities

This is the definitive me

Until the day is done

The curtain is drawn

And I’ve reached the end of the act

Just to do it all over the next day

And return to wearing the mask

Napowrimo: Poem #4

2009-04-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

DAY 4!
So I'm not the least bit interested in paint but I do love make up so to MAC Cosmetics website I went because they give their eyeshadow some pretty interesting names so I knew what was in store. I selected an eyeshadow called "Beauty Marked" and I knew right away what I wanted to write about so...ENJOY!

(this is the color, just in case you're wondering)

“What are those dots on your face?”

I would say with a child’s innocence

Now looking in the mirror

All I can do is reminisce

Because now those small dots

Have taken their place on my face

A small mole

Tells a story never told

Speaks volume of a family of women

Striking and bold

I love that my grandmother and I

Both have one of the sides of our nose

Who knew that with a beauty mark

Confidence would spark

So when I bear my first child

I won’t look for 10 fingers or tens toe

I’ll look my baby up and down

To see if she has one of these moles

Napowrimo: Poem #3

2009-04-03T13:53:00.000-07:00

DAY 3! So today's prompt was pretty much to take something in your life that's in 3's and incorporate it into a poem so right away I knew this would be a "relationship" poem because I've had 3 meaningful relationships and it just came to me so I ran with it. I usually don't title my poems (at least not right away) but the title came to me before the poem so I went with it but it's subject to change...ENJOY!

Three Loves, One Heart

He jump started it all as my first

First kiss

First love

First…you know what

And it was cool

But I couldn’t fool myself

Into believing this was as good as it gets

And that’s when I met Mr. Next

And he was good for over a year until he became an ex

And 3^rd time really is a charm

Because when I met number three

All I heard were alarms signaling this was it

And years later I’m still being bit

By the love bug

Finding myself getting lost in the simple embrace

Of a farewell hug

Until we meet again

If all roads led to him

I’d walk this path all over again

Napowrimo: Poem #2

2009-04-02T23:53:00.000-07:00

OK, It's Day #2 and today's prompt was to take 5 nouns and verbs related to something else and put them in a poem about something completely different. So, for whatever reason math was on my mind so that's where I took my verbs and nouns and incorporated them into a poem about....life I guess you can say? The hood? Ghetto? Inner city? Whatever you wanna call it....ENJOY!

*NOTE* The bold terms are the 5 verbs and nouns

Some say I come from the wrong side of the tracks
Like I don’t already know that
Like I haven’t been putting pencil to paper
Thinking of ways to turn my dreams into schemes
Calculating an escape
That’ll get me outta here
This concrete jungle
Where I struggle to tune out the sounds of gunshots
Concentrating on the words
That are scrawled across the pages of books
Hoping that when I finally take a look
I won’t be here any longer
Hoping that the clichés that teachers spew of believing in yourself
Manifest into truth
So I can stop thinking I’m here by mistake
And start believing I’m working to determine my own fate
Writing my own happy ending

Napowrimo: Poem #1

2009-04-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

I've decided to participate in an exercise, sponsored by readwritepoem.org that well have me writing one poem a day based on the prompts provided.

Prompt: Metaphor
I'm not really feeling 100% about this poem but...it is what it is...ENJOY!

I open the door to my office and accept my fate

For the next eight hours

As I anxiously wait for the clock to strike 4:30

Then I’m out the door in a hurry

The keys tossed on my desk is the escape I’m waiting for

They start the car that will get me to the love that I get lost in

Staring at the frame on my desk

That holds a picture of my love

Who I keep my heart in

I struggle to get the day started

Constantly pushing snooze on my mental alarm

My escape’s so far away

I Used To

2009-02-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

This one stemmed from me singing I Used To Love Him by Lauryn Hill so I used that as my first line but then I didn't like where it was going so I changed it slightly and TA DA...Enjoy!

I used to know you like the back of my hand

And now here I stand dropped jaw

At who you are

Who you’ve become

And it’s not becoming of you

It’s like you’re unraveling

And for the first time I can’t be the glue that binds you

And for the first time I don’t even want to

I don’t wanna be the solution to your problems

Wreck my brain in an attempt to solve them

You’re on your own

I came to this conclusion

When your voice took on a brand new tone

And I was stuck in place

As I stared at you and tried to remember your face

But nothing came to mind

And the charm that once captivated me

I could not find

And I’m ok with that

As I’m granted the chance to scratch

Your name off my list of people to care about

Leaving an opening to care a little bit more about me

And in that instant I’ve been set free

And the taste left in my mouth is bittersweet

As I think of what used to be

You and me

Perfect symmetry

Complimentary

Kisses that lingered long after they ended

Sessions of love making that left me winded

This is what once was

All that remains?

A lost love

Lights Out

2009-02-20T09:50:00.000-08:00

So by now we've all heard of the Chris Brown and Rihanna scandal. It's unfortunate but I'm not passing judgment on any of the parties involved but this poem that will follow was inspired by the picture of Rihanna I saw that shows her injuries. By no means if this a reflection of how I think their relationship was, it's just what I took from the picture, as if I wasn't looking at Rihanna but instead at one of many name less woman who are victims of domestic violence.

Huddled in the corner in a fetal position

Shadow cascading over me

Belonging to my executioner

As he gets ready to deliver that final blow

And in that instant I know I made a mistake

As I’m wiping the blood from my mouth

I know he’s my chosen fate

Because I couldn’t walk away

Because I chose love over being safe

And now I’ve chosen the date that’ll follow my birth date

That’ll be chiseled on the marker to my grave

Because I chose not to save my own life

Because I chose to be obedient rather than fight

And now I’m fighting for my life

But it’s too late

Who am I kidding?

After being his punching bag

“Bitch, all you do is nag!”

And being his door mat

“You ain’t good for shit but laying on your back”

Now he’s supposed to let me leave?

If he has it his way it’ll be in a body bag

And not on my own two feet

Why didn’t I break free?

I stuck around and let him break me

Chip teeth

Bruise knees

Get it over already

Put me out of my misery

Please kill me

Welcome

2009-02-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

I created this blog to challenge and encourage myself to write.

I wrote my first poem in the 7th grade as part of a class assignment. I don't remember the poem now but I do remember that it garnered a good grade but that was the end of my writing career because I just wasn't interested in it. But in the 10th grade I had a substitute teacher who was a poet and something happened in the week that she covered my English class that ignited a desire to write poetry. And from then on it's been on!

Not a lot of people even know I write poetry. I've shared the things I've written with even fewer people because it's my craft, what I consider my talent, that's for my entertainment. I have no desire to publish anything or make a career out of it, it's just my fun, my release, my therapy when needed, my outlet for expressing extreme joy or devastating pain.

But this blog for me will hopefully get me back into writing regularly. I can't recall the last time I wrote a poem, it's definitely been a few months. Ideally I would like to post daily but more realistically it'll be weekly and I want to post new stuff, not dig back into the archives and post something I wrote years ago. That's where the challenge comes in.

If inspired by something, I'll share that before posting my latest so...

Read, enjoy, share, critique...I'll take it all.